her clavicle feels good underneath my heartache
entrenched in some sort of oily war
shreds of decency fall off fingertips
sliding across my cheeks
a winter wonderland and skaters collide
you're in for the ride of your life
down the slippery slope
all those red herrings could not deter you
from those nasty skid marks
and all that other mumbo jumbo
your mother warned you about
i don't have a thick enough coat
to keep out the knocking coldness
holes in shoes
tell secrets no child should know
my grandfather's whiskers shout
into my face
and poke at my childhood without reckoning
i don't give a shit about his riding lawnmower anymore
or racing my daddy up the hill
he won
he always did
any honorable man would let his child
run through the blue tape
and fall down in the grass laughing with delight
but not mine
he flew airplanes while we ate tuna from a can
his truck never waited
i walked across thin ice
hand in hand with my mother and her bruised face
black snow boots really told that story well
at eighteen i told my dad to go to hell
another man stepped up to the plate
he's my father now
since i was nine
a real man
not a moment too late in time
i took his name just like my mother
her face no longer fruit
she makes room for more things in her heart
and her cellar doors shut out the cold
now i know if i bend down and tie my shoe
i will once again think of you and all those days
that never added up to anything
